I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that living through infertility is HARD. You know this truth all too well. You have 100 fears running through your mind at all times; it's never still, it's never quiet. You are beginning to feel disconnected and alone. You have a war inside your mind -  a constant battle within between hope that one day you will become a mother and at the exact same time being afraid that chance will be stolen away forever.  You are afraid that the pain of infertility will erode you one piece at a time.

Rationally, I’m sure you know things are NOT your fault, but at times it might be hard to shake the feelings of guilt and shame, the thoughts of 'Something is wrong with my body, something is wrong with me'. Little things can trigger this feeling— another BFN, a discouraging appointment with your medical team, an argument with your partner because the stress of it all is just so high — the pain hits again and again.

Do you ever cry for seemingly no reason at all? But deep down a part of you knows it's somehow connected to this sorrow, the longing of empty arms where a baby should be. 

In the midst of all this longing, in the midst of all this uncertainty, what you really are looking for is support, stability, and clarity as you seek to understand and search for meaning within this arduous journey. You are looking for relief, the day when you feel like you can breathe again. TTC is hard enough. Add in anxiety and depression symptoms and it all becomes so overwhelming. One way we can combat these low and anxious feelings is through therapy.

You might be asking yourself, ‘well what can therapy do for me anyway? It won't change the outcome, it won't give me my baby’. 

Your right it won't. Therapy will not change the fact that you still don't have your baby, it won’t take away that sadness or make everything okay (nor should it). While I wish I actually had a way to give you your heart’s greatest desire *sprinkles baby dust*, what therapy can do is help you learn to cope and self-care during these uncertain times. 

Remember, you are not broken. Yes, you are hurting, but not broken. You are resilient. We can honor our yearning for motherhood AND at the same time find ways to practice acceptance around not having a baby now so that the anxiety, depression, and grief are manageable. So that you can live presently in your life, as it is now, no matter what the future holds. 

I am here for you to confide in, vent to, cry to, and grieve with. If a safe space like this would be helpful to you, please feel free to reach out. You deserve to be supported.